Sunday, 7 July 2013

Soy sauce buttie, anyone?

I will be losing my hair in 13 days. When it gets snipped off it will be going to these lovely people who provide real hair wigs for children who have lost their own hair.

But it got me thinking – if I wasn’t doing that, what else could I use it for?  So off I went to Google:

First question: why are so many people curious about human urine. Nope, actually, don’t want to know. Not entirely sure you’re going to want to know what else I found out but here they are – uses for human hair arranged in increasing order of how much they made me retch.

6.            Let’s start with the normal. Wigs made of human hair.  Naturally blond hair is the most expensive. Then red, then brown. Gee, I feel special.

5.            Slightly less usual – human hair can be used to help people grow food – it’s woven into mats to prevent weed growth and protect plant roots. That’s kinda cool.

4.            As pest repellent. Bags of human hair around a vegetable plot are meant to keep pests like deer and rabbits away. Either because of the smell or they’re just plain weirded out by it. I know I would be.

3.            If I’d lived in Victorian times, I could have embroidered a hankie with my own hair and given it to my loved one. Try that now and I’m not sure I’d still have a loved one. Mind you, if the shock of blowing their nose with actual body parts induced a coronary, I could remember them by wearing a lock of their hair in a pendant. Yum.

2.            Voodoo. Hair, fingernails, anything personal gets attached to the Voodoo doll. If you want to know more, Google is your friend. I won't be.

1.            In food. Yeah, gonna say that again. In. Food.  Or at least it used to be, although not necessarily here.  Hair contains an amino acid which can be used as a flour improver. Or in soy sauce.  It’s food number is E920. Apparently it gives things a ‘meaty’ taste. Thankfully a little further research shows that E920 is now synthetically produced so the next sliced white you pick up shouldn’t need a shave. Still might give it a miss for a while…